From One Machine Problem to Another
by V-Trigger
Summary: Since the entire fiasco with the Cabal, nothing's ever been simple for the Hunter, Lent. Finding a commotion with the Vex back at Venus he gets warped out the planet and back into the big blue he called home. Except for the fact that everything he knew is gone, and there's Androids all around worshiping him like he's some god. He'd rather go back to the Vex please.
1. Crash Landing

**Hello, Hello, Hello. It's me again. yep, it's not an update. Rather a small rewrite of the first chapter. After the first chapter, just the small amount of followers and favs I got compelled me to continue this asspull of an idea I got in my head. But I couldn't write a second chapter because looking back at the first, there really was a fast pacing that'd put the Flash to shame. So I felt that I had to rewrite the first chap, for me to be able to create a second one. It's a bit short. Shorter than the first, first chapter. But I was never good at making long chapter anyway. so Enjoy, also I would appreciate the criticism.**

 **Please.**

 **I need it.**

 **\- V-Trigger**

* * *

"HEY! CAYDE, YOU LISTENING?! THIS IS GUARDIAN LENT! IM UHHH BEING CHASED BY A FUCKING ARMADA OF VEX AND I COULD REALLY USE SOME ASSISTANCE RIGHT ABOUT NOW!" Another Harpy struck Lent's ship sending it spiraling down to the atmosphere before it reached orbit. He mentally scoffed at his frustration while fighting to control his ship as another swarm of harpies gave chase.

He watched a few stray shots fly past his ship, before warning sirens started to bleep out. "JOY WHAT HAPPENED?!"

His ghost materialized beside him, looking at all the screens pertaining to ship damages. "NOTHING MAJOR! JUST KEEP FLYING!"

A few more shots flew by before a familiar "Ping!" resounded in the cockpit notifying the pair of their escape route. "Warp Drive's ready!" Joy yelled out in relief.

Lent allowed a grin show on his face, he quickly maneuvered his ship through the fire of the chasing Vex and flew it upwards gaining altitude. "Okay Joy, prepare for a warp jump in three!"

Joy bobbed his shell and de-materialized back into Lent's head.

"Alright buddy…jumping…now!" Before the ship could enter the jump a few shots hit the backside of his ship.

The ship finally entered the warp jump before:

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Lent looked at the alarm on the control panel and lost all color on his face when he saw in big bold red letters 'MAIN THRUSTERS OFFLINE.' And more importantly… 'WARP DRIVE ERROR' He gripped onto his chair and tried to prepare for the jump of his life.

/

 _ **Gu-..dian…**_

 _ **Guardian!**_

 _ **WAKE UP LENT!**_

Lent's eyes shot open as he slowly sat up, sporting a small headache. His head darted from left to right, trying to recognize where he currently was… "Joy?"

The ghost materialized in front of him. "Yeah?"

Lent gripped his throbbing head before standing up. "Where are we?" He looked at Joy wander around for a few seconds before floating back in front of him. "Specifically? It's a small campsite I made. But geographically? We're probably somewhere in the Sahara…after an emergency transmat from the ship crash I set this place up to at least have some shelter." the ghost explained.

Lent sighed. He gripped the sides of his head from the pent up stress…he breathed slowly, trying to calm himself down. _At least they were just in the Sahara…right? Joy could just contact the Tower, ask for retrieval and he'd be back at his favorite bar in no time…_ He looked back to his only companions. "Joy, did you contact command already?"

Joy's 8-Ball shell spun around slowly with his only eye averting its gaze from Lent a trait that he knew all too well. "Joy? What's going on?" The Ghost sighed and spoke in a small voice, "I actually…can't contact command…"

Lent's face grew flat. "What?"

"Or anyone for that matter…" Joy continued, "Ever since the crash I've been sending out S.O.S signals to the typical Vanguard frequencies but no one's been picking up…"

Lent opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it back. Trying to gather his thoughts, his eyes wandered to the open sand around him, more specifically, the tropical oasis located a few meters away to his right he started walking towards it, before turning into a full on sprint. Joy caught on to what he where he was going and quickly floated behind the sprinting Lent. He watched the guardian's helmet de-materialize before kneeling in front of the pond, and using his hands to scoop up the water, he drank.

And drank.

And drank.

Until after a few more scoops of water, Lent slumped down in a sitting position, panting from the loss of breath while drinking too much. "I didn't even realize I was that thirsty…" He spoke while panting. Joy's shell whirled happily as Joy did the ghost equivalent to puffing his chest. "I transmatted you here cause I thought you'd be thirsty…guess I was right huh?" The guardian chuckled before lightly bumping a fist to the ghost's shell.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Guardian."

Lent sat in a crossed leg position, putting his hand under his chin while deep in thought. "Well, our first order of business is finding out what the hell happened to the Vanguard…"

"That's true…" Joy agreed, "If we can't find any vanguard communication frequencies being used. Then either something happened to the City when we were gone or this is a new planet that looks exactly like a desert from Earth…"

Lent shrugged at the latter thought. "Wouldn't be the weirdest planet we'd be into."

"That's true…" Joy trailed off, before shaking his shell. "Well I got the Minerva already stored in the databanks so we could start off our adventure."

Lent smiled at his companion's forward thinking and nodded. He stood up and stretched a bit before materializing his helmet back on. Joy disappeared in a mote of light before speaking to Lent in their mind link, _**from prior scans I found another a place receiving and sending signals for a while now. But it isn't Vanguard…it's something else.**_

"Fallen?"

 _ **No, the Fallen signals are more barbaric and out of the place…this feels more organized.**_

"So it's the Vex then."

 _ **Again, no. Vex signals are hard to decipher being written in their own original language and all. This one looks like it's human but I'm not really sure…I don't know the majority of it is but some of it's in English.**_

Lent nodded, "That's good enough for me. Mark It on my HUD." Instantly a map marker popped out from his vision. _**So, what's our plan of attack?**_

Lent thought about it for a moment before shrugging. "Scathelock'll do for now." He suddenly felt the familiar weight of the rifle on his back. "Bring out the Jupiter too." A second passes before his legendary sparrow materialized in front of him. Quickly getting on, he started up the hoverbike before riding it in the direction of the marker.

/

"Traveler fucking damn it…" Muttered Lent under his breath as trudged forward through the dunes. "Why the fuck aren't sparrows capable of going through sandstorms?" He asked to no one in particular.

 _ **Well, sparrows were made to serve as light, high-speed vehicles…besides, this sandstorm's unusually powerful.**_ The voice of his ghost rang in his head. _**Also, another thing to note…you killed Dominus Ghaul…is something like a little sandstorm really gonna slow you down?**_

"Easy for you to say! You're not the one being blown by fucking sand of all things while climbing up through several dunes!"

 _ **Well, if I was out there with you I'd be blown away in an instant…**_

Lent huffed from his partner's retort. "Besides…I didn't kill Ghaul. I just shot him till he became a giant light monster and the Traveler…ate him or something. Honestly I have no idea what the hell happened that day anymore…"

 _ **Well…you managed to tank the heat of the sun?**_

"Well, yeah…but only for a few seconds…" Lent nearly slipped from the sandy slope as another gust of wind hit him in the face. "Not for nearly two hours straight…"

 _ **Well, here's to hoping the storm would stop soon.**_ His ghost tried to look optimistic.

Lent agreed. "Yeah, let's hope."

/

Luckily the sandstorm did stop, much to Lent's happiness. He quickly got Joy to summon his legendary sparrow once more and rode off to their objective. _**Hey, Lent?**_ Joy's voice rang out in his mind. "Yeah?"

 _ **You ever notice how the sun hasn't moved at all?**_

"…"

…

"What?"

He heard his ghost sigh in his mind before Joy appeared beside his head as he stopped the Jupiter Midnight to look up at the sun. "It's been up there since I transmatted you out off the ship…it's been eight hours since then and it still hasn't moved…"

Lent kept his stare at the yellow star, his HUD keeping him from being blinded by the harsh light. "Something's definitely wrong with this planet…"

"So what do we do?" Joy asked.

Lent lowered his head. Silent for a few seconds before shaking it. "Our objective hasn't changed…we find the place transmitting the signals. See if it's someone or something that won't kill us on sight and get answers."

The ghost bobbed his shell to his guardian. And with steeled resolve, the two kept going in their personal quest for answers.

/

 _They just had to fucking explode didn't they?!_ Lent stressfully remarked in his thoughts as he drove the Jupiter Midnight at top speed while being chased around by over a dozen two legged giant batteries all screaming like a fucking banshee.

It sounded like so fucking ridiculous.

Hell they _looked_ ridiculous.

For the past two hours of riding across the desert they ran across a few unusual things.

Well, as unusual as old dinky looking robots that either fly or run at him with intent to kill. And the fact that they shoot this red and pink bubble things that are so fucking easy to dodge that it was hilarious.

In any case, fighting them felt like fighting the Vex.

An old, bootleg version of the Vex contracted with pre-Traveler technology.

Or something Cayde would build from stolen parts he took from Amanda…

At first they were no threat at all…occasionally finding themselves at the end of rifle. Then those fucking suicide bots started showing up and just _ran up to them_ to kill their selves. At first he started to shoot them down before they got close, but eventually two became five, and five became a dozen. So he and Joy decided to just ignore them and keep going.

He didn't expect them to keep following them.

He didn't expect them to keep up with the sparrow's cruising speed.

And how here they were. A guardian and his ghost, trapped in a high-speed chase with exploding suicide droids at a desert on a planet where the sun doesn't move.

It sounded like a stupid plot for an action comedy movie.

…Nah.

Well here's to hoping something good would turn up soon…as immortal as guardians were, they were still prone to hunger…and all that shit. And by the Traveler was Lent absolutely fucking famished.

He internally shrugged as he kept the sparrow riding in full gear.

Only a few more miles to go…

 _This better be worth it._

* * *

 **That's a wrap. Yeaaaaah really fuckin short now aint it? anyways if you guys wanna know Lent's current equipment I'll put it down here.**

 **Armor:**

 **-Errant Knight Set.**

 **Primary Weapon:**

 **-Scathelocke (Adaptive Frame, Under Pressure, Legendary Auto Rifle)**

 **Secondary Weapon**

 **-Fate Cries Foul (Adaptive Frame, Genesis, Triple Tap, Legendary Sniper Rifle)**

 **Heavy Weapon**

 **-CUP-BEARER SA/2 (Adaptive Frame, Cluster Bomb, Rare Rocket Launcher)**

 **Joy (Ghost)**

 **-8Ball shell**

 **Sparrow**

 **-Jupiter Midnight**

 **Jumpship**

 **-Minerva Zero**

 **Lent will be using all three of the basic Hunter sub-classes cause restraining him to one wouldn't be much fun now would it?**

 **anyways tell me if you liked this version or the old one more.**

 **of you like this one then I'll continue it, if you like the old one then I'll continue that.**

 **Ciao.**


	2. Crash Landing PT2

**Okay, Hello, this is the second chap. I had like a small idea on how I wanted it to go, even wrote notes for it. But like, when I started writing, all of it went out the window. Anyways, here you go.**

* * *

 _It's been a boring mission so far…_

Go to the Desert Zone and investigate the sudden surge of machine activity in the area… It sounded like a pretty good mission at first, until 9S realized that most of it is just running through the city, meeting up with a supply vender in front of the entrance of the desert, and finding the resistance member that Anemone sent to show them the path.

Not if only he and 2B could find them…

They've been walking for a considerable amount of time now, and from their full sprint, 9S slowly lagged behind his companion and ended up in walking in a stroll. He also whistled a tune.

Or at least tried to.

It mostly sounded like a bird crying out from cancer.

Huh, so even with the advancement of YoRHa tech, there's always gonna be a few things they can't do…

So deep in thought while walking. He never even realized that his companion stopped running to turn and look at him. He also never realized that he was about to bump into her.

It was too late.

His face was already in her bosom.

"9S." Was the only thing that came out of her mouth.

He flinched and quickly jumped back a few feet away from her. He felt heat creep up to his cheeks when he saw 2B's unwavering gaze at him. "…Yeah?"

2B kept her silent stare at him for a few more seconds before turning back around, back facing him. "Let's go." And left him to his own.

9S took a deep breath, calming himself down. Looking at 2B's back getting farther away he allowed a small smile on his lips. "Roger that…" And ran after her.

/

"Hey, our leader told me about you two." She held out a hand. "Name's Jackass, nice to meetcha."

2B kept her signature poker face stare at Jackass while 9S gladly shook her hand. "I'm 9S and this is 2B." he gestured to the battledroid.

Jackass smirked at the young shota unit. "Least, one of you here knows how to take a proper greeting." 2B tensed at her words but kept herself composed. "Anyways, I hear you guys are planning to take out the machines in the desert?"

"Yeah that seems about right." 9S nonchalantly shrugged.

"Guess we need to get that entrance open then." She nodded her head to the direction of the heavily fortified gate.

"Looks like it…" He agreed. "So, uhh… Jack…ass, was it? What are doing all the way out here?"

Jackass raised a small smirk. "Hmm. Oh that? Well…" She was about to trigger the explosives before the gate blew up on its own and a purple and gold streak flew past the three androids. Before they could react however, they heard a really, really alarming noise.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Jackass would've paled up at the sound if she could, so she quickly grabbed 9S by the scruff of his neck and pulled him down and gestured 2B to do the same.

"Hey, wha-?!"

"SHHH! Keep quiet!" She yelled out in a whisper.

"Why?"

"Just watch…"

And watch they did when they saw over twenty small exploders burst out the broken gate yelling their voice chips out, chasing after the purple blur that went past them a few seconds prior.

Once the danger passed, Jackass let out a sigh of relief as she stood up, the two YoRHa units following after her. "So what was that?" 9S' voice asked out.

"Those, are some of the most ridiculous but scariest machines you could find in the desert."

"Why?"

"They run at you while screaming like a dying goat and self-destruct in front of your face. The fact that whatever that blur was being chased by 'em I can only say that they may rest in peace…"

"…"

"So, still think you up to the mission?"

/

"WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE MORE OF THEM?!" It's been god how long since Lent was being chased by murderous robots but even this was beginning to gets stupid.

 _ **I told you earlier it would've been easier to take care of them while they were still less than twenty…**_ A banter came from his ghost brimming with the: 'I told you so' voice.

"I DIDN'T KNOW THEY'D BE THIS PERSISTENT OKAY!?" Lent huffed. "None of the shit we've fought before ever was…"

 _ **Uhh…Guardian? The Jupiter's nearly out of charge…**_

 _FUCK._ He cursed inside his head. He entered a small crevice a few minutes ago and the road was getting narrower. But somehow, _someway_ these loud little fucks managed to chase him in.

 _ **THERE'S A BARRICADE UP FRONT!**_

"WHAT?!" He looked farther up ahead and there really was wall. He 'tch!' his tongue. Before deciding…

He revved up the boost.

And the Jupiter Midnight shot right through the steel wall. And kept going past through the sand. Though Lent did see two things that looked like black leather and one with shady old robes but they were blurry as fuck.

Maybe he'd go back and see what it was later on…but right now.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He still had to deal with _that_.

"Hey Joy, could you handle controls for a bit? Also give me the cup bearer." Lent began to stand on the seat of the Jupiter while Joy materialized and connected himself to the hoverbike and took control. Lent held the newly-materialized rocket launcher and took aim. "It's been fun having a stupid little chase but, bye bye little fucks." And pulled the trigger.

/

Jackass watched the two YoRHa units leave through the open gate. Then turned around to go back to the camp set up near the entrance of the desert zone. She started to jog slowly increasing speed onto a run as fast as most resistance model androids could pick up. She ran past a couple machines before,

 _BOOM!_

A gigantic explosion rocked up from the east of her position. She stopped to look at it for a few seconds before shrugging and running in the same direction to check it out.

 _Maybe it was that blur those machines were chasing..._

Who knows? But to her anything that made a big explosion was a plus in her book. If it was friendly, even better. If it wasn't…

Ah well, she wanted to test out her new guns anyway.

So she went.

"That was a great explosion Guardian."

"You betcha it was!"

She heard voices before she saw two figures, technically one figure wearing some sort of weird hooded armor and one floating ball with the number '8' written on. The ball also had an eye. She was still a good distance away from them that they didn't notice. So she did what Anemone would probably berate her for.

She went up to 'em and greeted them like the fuckin boss that she was.

"I didn't know that old 'Nem would send some Androids inside the desert." She started off, getting the attention of both figures. She watched with interest as the two seemed to turn and look at each other for a while, a creeping silence shared between them before the hooded armor dude shrugged and his helmet vanished and turned to look at her.

"I'm Lent." He held out a hand for a shake, he nudged his shoulder to his ghost, "This is Joy. We're kinda lost."

Jackass grinned and took his hand and shook it. "Name's Jackass. Lost you say? Inside the Desert Zone? I'm surprised the machines haven't turned you to scrap already." She spoke in a mirthful tone.

Lent raised an eyebrow, her name's Jackass? Really? He gave off a sigh and shrugged. "The bootleg Vex were pretty weak. Nothing I couldn't handle."

 _Vex?_ The term intrigued the android. What did the word mean? And what did this weird armor android mean when machines were bootleg versions of it? Does that mean that there's something out there more dangerous than the machines?

That was just the surface of the pit of questions piling up inside her processors.

"Excuse me umm…Miss Jack-…ass?" The small floaty ball thing apparently named Joy called her out. Another thing that took her interest. This ball thing. How was it floating? Is it the same thing as the YoRHa Pods or some shit? Why is it branded with the number '8'? Was it the eight of its kind or something?

Jackass found herself reaching up to the small intricate machine. "What are you?" Her hand was grasped by Lent.

Joy's shell spun a few times, he called off Lent to back away a bit in their mind link before allowing Jackass to hold him.

Not too much though. "I'm a Ghost."

"Interesting…" Jackass inspected the small thing in her hands. She now realized that it was simply a floating mechanical eyeball, covered in an intricate shell to protect it. She let go of Joy allowing him to reorient himself as he floated.

"I have a tiny question…" Joy continued off, "What did you mean when you said Androids?"

"What do you mean?" She asked back, "Isn't he an Android?" She pointed at Lent.

"Actually, I'm human." Lent piped back.

Jackass snorted, "Yeah right. Humans haven't been seen for over five thousand years since they all went to live on the moon."

She heard the 'human' release a ragged breath, "What…?" He managed to mutter out.

She rolled her eyes, "The machines took up the entirety of Earth. Humans had to leave to live. Then they started to build Androids to fight the surface war for them. Get it now?"

She watched the two exchange looks and another round of silence once again befell them. If only she knew the mental breakdown happening between the two space soldiers.

/

 _WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE MEAN FIVE THOUSAND YEARS AGO!?_ Lent's mind was on overdrive when he heard Jackass explain the current situation.

 _ **Guardian, calm down…nothing's gonna change if you panic.**_

 _YEAH BUT IT'S REALLY HARD TO CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW! WHAT THE HELL ARE WE EVEN SUPPOSED TO DO?!_

 _ **Just, try to get her trust. Prove you're human…**_

 _You trust her?_

 _ **No, but she's the only one not trying to kill us at the moment so…**_

Lent inwardly sighed. _Okay._

 _/_

"Look, I can prove to you I'm human." Jackass watched Lent start out.

"How?"

"You got any bioscanners?" Joy piped up.

"Nah." Jackass shrugged. "Wasn't built in with one, maybe one of those new YoRHa androids got it but we old models don't."

"Oh…" Joy's shell curved down, kinda like a frown.

"What if I…" Lent reached out his left arm to her, she watched his gauntlet disappear. "Take my pulse."

Deciding to humor the android, Jackass went over and checked his wrist by pressing two fingers at it gently. _Soft._ She thought to herself, before something shook her to the core of her programming.

 _Badump…badump…badump…_

A pulse.

A _fucking pulse._

Jackass flinched back, suddenly the situation was dire as fuck. "Oh god, I need to call 'Nem…"

"Nem?" Joy asked her.

"Anemone. My boss. Leader of the android resistance fighting back at the machines." She explained. "I need to call her. I'm not good with this types of fucking situations." She pushed back her hair a bit. "To think, a human on the surface…ahahahahaha…"

"Uhhh…" Lent looked at Joy, "Is she gonna be okay?"

Joy did the ghost equivalent of a shrug. "I don't know. But should we let her call her CO?"

"I don't know."

The two looked at each other and shrugged. Not noticing that Jackass was already in the middle of calling out back to the main Resistance Camp.

"Jackass?" A holo-screen appeared, coming from Jackass' palm, gathering the two's attention. "Did you meet 2B and 9S already?"

Jackass sighed. "I did, they already went in the desert but 'Nem, that's not what I called you for…"

She watched Anemone look at her in confusion, before looking at the other two beside her. "Who's this?"

She took a deep breath. "Nem, you're not gonna believe this…"

* * *

 **I've been playing some more end-game content, like Legacy Strikes, or the Night Strike ones. Gotten better gear on my main Hunter. It's been pretty chill yet fun so far. Still not gonna buy Forsaken though.**

 **Ciao.**


End file.
